Right before he left for the summer, I said...
You're just like my mom and dad
You know I can barely handle a few days
How could you leave me for so long?
If you cared about me, you wouldn't leave me all summer
Don't you see I'm struggling?
I'm in so much pain
I'm not going to be okay
He teared up, said he was so happy I told him how I felt and asked me to say it all again.
BLT: I love it! Unphased. Steady. Constant. Unmoveable. I have told the Therapist I see "F*** you!" in many different ways. I think when we do this, it actually catches us off guard more than it does them
PassionFruit: This was very moving. The last line where you stated he asked you to say it all again. Powerful. I have never been able to say those things, but if I could, I would. You were very courageous to share these things with him.
Thank you for telling your stories
The most recent one, six weeks ago, I got so pissed at him when I left his office I turned his thermostat up to 83. I was completely in a childlike place and really threw a tantrum.
Needless to say, he "knew" I had done it. He did not chide me or use his words to beat me up over it. I think that was most unsettled I had ever been towards him.
My T's response was pretty amazing. After he had me say it again, he then told me he felt helpless and was heartbroken and hurting that he had to leave me for so long. He knew I would not be okay and he said he was so sorry. He said he would never want to hurt me and that he cares about me. His response to my pain was a huge healing moment for me. Honestly, I don't think he would have told me all those nice things if I didn't tell him how I really felt.
I think I felt safe to say it because he was leaving for a long time and for some reason that long break gave me the strength to say what I felt.