New T is great but...

I have been seeing my T now for almost a year. She is a great therapist. Very responsive and always there for me when I need her for the most part but she takes a TON of vacations. On most of them she does allow phone and email and text contact which is new for me. In the past when a therapist was on vacation there was no reaching them. But now she's going out of town (well that's how she put it anyway) and won't be available for 6 days, then she will be back and available by phone but not for sessions. I really don't handle these vacas very well and she does this a lot. I mean in the almost 1 year I have seen her I would say she has taken the equivalant of 3 months off. Granted these are dispersed into one and two week increments but none the less it feels excessive. I don't know why I am writing about this other than that I am upset. I am sort of angry that she is going away again. She knows I am angry, I told her. lol. She says "We have plenty of time to figure out where and how you can get support while I am gone." That is BS. No one is going to replace her and frankly all the things she's come up with are things I know I won't do, like call her partner whom I don't know from a hole in the ground. UGH
Original Post
(((turtle)))

That is so hard to deal with. 3.5 months out of the year is way too much time off- it’s almost 1/3 of the year!

For the first two years I saw my T, he would have to cancel one or two sessions a month due to health problems. It was so destabilizing for me, and I felt so angry with him, but also guilty about feeling angry because it wasn’t his fault. He was out all last summer for surgery, which was awful, but since he’s been back it has been like night and day. It makes a huge difference having a dependable schedule with him. For your T to choose to take that much time off and seemingly make light of the ramifications for you seems like a warning sign to me.
I would find frequent times away hard to manage. My T is on a 5 week break from work right now ... I dread if she will take more time off later in the year as well....

Is yr T on holidays or is she doing further twining / attending workshops / furthering her knowledge?

When she said to you she wants to help you work on finding support when she's gone, I read it a little differently than you do - I'm not sure she was meaning 'I can be replaced' but instead was acknowledging the very real need you have to feel supported when she is not around; AND she wants to HELP you to work out how you might begin to find other support, for when she is away.

That's my take on it anyway.
quote:
She says "We have plenty of time to figure out where and how you can get support while I am gone." That is BS. No one is going to replace her and frankly all the things she's come up with are things I know I won't do



I hear you on this. My T is trying to get me to replace the time I see her, too. She claims 'nothing will REPLACE' but she is taking weeks away from me, so obviously I need to replace, and now she is admitting she wants me to make my world bigger by having more supports. But I don't want to do what she is wanting me to do. It's such an internal fight. I don't want to miss out or let go of that time with her....

I'm sorry you are dealing with so much missed time, Turtle!
Hi turtle,

I'm so sorry your T is gone so often. It is very hard to become dependent on someone who is gone a lot. And it's hard to think of working with someone else when you work with your current T so well.

My T is gone at least one week a month and then some. He's been gone 14 weeks alone this year, with more to come. He does allow text and email, but it's not the same.

I never had a back-up T until this summer. He wanted to refer me to someone, but I looked for my own. I called several people who specialized in my issues (CSA, trauma, attachment) and found someone I thought would be a good fit for me. She ended up helping me a lot. While it wasn't the same as being with my normal T, I'm glad I had someone there to help when he was away for 9 weeks this summer.

It does help to have support while your T is away, even if it's not the same.

I have come to realize that if my T continues to leave this much, it's too painful for me. I would probably leave him (easier said than done) and move to my T2.

You have every right to be upset about this. I know I'm still dealing with my feelings from my T's absence this summer.

PF

Add Reply

Likes (0)
×
×
×
×
×