Hi turtle,

I'm so sorry your T is gone so often. It is very hard to become dependent on someone who is gone a lot. And it's hard to think of working with someone else when you work with your current T so well.

My T is gone at least one week a month and then some. He's been gone 14 weeks alone this year, with more to come. He does allow text and email, but it's not the same.

I never had a back-up T until this summer. He wanted to refer me to someone, but I looked for my own. I called several people who specialized in my issues (CSA, trauma, attachment) and found someone I thought would be a good fit for me. She ended up helping me a lot. While it wasn't the same as being with my normal T, I'm glad I had someone there to help when he was away for 9 weeks this summer.

It does help to have support while your T is away, even if it's not the same.

I have come to realize that if my T continues to leave this much, it's too painful for me. I would probably leave him (easier said than done) and move to my T2.

You have every right to be upset about this. I know I'm still dealing with my feelings from my T's absence this summer.

PF