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I just dont get it,(I am putting his words in enghlish) he said he was really just not bothered to do continue this. He is to busy . I said it not fair I thought I was doing well now, and again he said her is no bothered to talk to me on phone 1 week for 30 minutes (the truth is in the summer we did talk about 5-8 minutes 1 a week or 2 weeks apart, NEVER 30 minutes).

And that was after last winter he cancelled many appointments ,sometimes just 1 hour before, sent a text or e-mail and did not reply to get a new appintemnt, and then again he said if I was his only appointment he was not bothered to go and see only me. Ok phone calls .. I am just lost and confused..

I am so sorry what happened with your T. And I am truly sorry that he did not handle this with more compassion and empathy. When you/if you feel like sharing, it sounds like you have been with him for at least a year or two? Have they been face to face sessions or phone sessions or a combo of both?

I am feeling a bit confused for you. I wish I could reach out and take your pain away.
Anna, I seriously wish I could just reach out through the computer screen and give you the warmest, safest, most engulfing in care hug that I could give.

I am not familiar with your circumstances or your specific story, and I don't think knowing is necessary. Just knowing someone is standing by, helps me....

I am standing by. Two words or two million. I am sending you kind and compassionate thoughts.
I'm so sorry Anna Frowner

You deserve so much better. This is not a kind, compassionate or professional way to behave and it is NOT your fault. A therapist should set the boundaries and keep them and unless there is an emergency situation (T's are not immune to those sadly) they should be there for you, and if the therapist is outside of his or her expertise, this should be gently discussed with the client and the therapist should help them find better support.

Sitting here with you Anna and wishing I could give you a hug and a warm drink and just be there to listen.


I know this really hurts hon. For any T to say they don't want to "bothered" to help any client... well they shouldn't be a T. It sounds like professional burn out to me. It was a seriously wrong wrong wrong and dispassionate choice of words. Words that would turn my world upside down if my T said that to me. I am actually feeling very angry at this man and I don't even know him! It was a heartless comment. Please please please even though this hurts terribly, do not take ownership that you are not worthy or valuable. It was very discounting, but honestly is a BLARINGLY CLEAR indication of where he is at in his professional life! He should not be a T! I know it hurts deeply and brings up tons of stuff and I am not discounting that by any means, but WOW, that just kind of blows my mind.

Do you know of any other Ts, and how are managing? I hope you will reach out and give another T a shot, if only to help you get through this.

I am standing by with hugs.

You are worthy, you are not a burden. He is not worthy of you or any other clients.
Thanks for your replyes .. They mean a lot to me. I want to say one thing , I did never anythink with out asking me T before, like is it ok to call you after 1 week or 2 weeks, Is that ok , and always did I ask permission . When I called him I asked my T if its ok to send him photo of my kid on that occasion and so on, I did not do anythink wwith out having yeas first.
I wish my T did not say these things to me, I honestly wish I did misunderstand my T . But I did not. I was getting on good level with food, and I said if it was wrong to ask for help with these thoigs but my T said he just did bother to "help" me to do it. And he had many other work and that this was not bothering any more..
That sounds absolutely awful, and I can't even imagine how a T could feel he has the right to say such things, apparently without thinking much about the impact they may have. I do hope you will find another, reliable, T who will give you the care that you deserve.
I can see how those words could validate some of my worst fears about bothering my T.
Sorry I have nothing more helpful to say, beside... he was very clearly wrong and unprofessional!
Hi Anna... I am so sorry that this happened to you. No one should ever experience this kind of abandonment by a T. I do remember that your T would often go away for long periods of time and you had no contact with him.

I know that you will feel devastated for a good while but I hope you will find another T to process this with. You need support right now. It's hard to begin a new relationship but it can be very rewarding if you find the right person. You should not have to beg a T to be reliable, supportive and compassionate.

Hang in there
Thanks for your kind words and hugs,

they mean a lot to me. It is night now where I live and I am in work, I am so much tired and just getting to come to terms with this. I feel so tired I just don´t want to go to work tomorrow and I just struggling, just more by what he said really.

I am can say I have for some time talk to a friend and she told me she would never ever put up with what my T has been doing for some time. How he has said I could call and not answer or return my calls when we agreed I could call.

And cancel repeated appointments’ last winter. I feel like I have been staking him because I did always call the week after when he did not return our scheduled call. I feel now so much fool..

I felt for many months like I had to beg him to talk to me, my T has had some kind a meltdown on me before. I did beg him that I could call after 2 weeks and now I just don´t see the point, I just extremely hurt and his words hurt me.

He said ok """"call then after 2 weeks I have to go "" (and my T almost hang up on me) "". We take it from there,. But I am not ok with this and I want this over ok bye "" my T words. ..
Last edited by anna
Hi Anna.
Im a new member but ive read your post... What a horrible person your T is. I dont know you but im so angry at him for acting like that and leaving you like this.
I hope you can gather strength and find a new T very soon. I hope u are doing ok, please fight and don't let this bring you down (i mean i know it's done already, but please try to come up). Your value has nothing to do with the horrible attitude of that T.
You deserve better. Pls give us news...

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