I'm so sorry for your pain. I did read it this morning. You did nothing wrong. The truth is that HE did, not you. The truth is you are not an object. The truth is you are special and precious. Don't listen to the lies in your head Cat. However, you are of course completely allowed and entitled to feel from it. I hope your doing okay. I'm sending big hugs.
I wish I could deal with this stuff better.