CD,
If I can approach this from a fairly simplistic point of view:

1. Going back means moving closer
2. Hamster amygdala checks prior experiences
3. Hamster amygdala screams NO NO NO TOO DANGEROUS
4. Frontal lobe does not want to look irrational and goes hunting for rationale.
5. Frontal lobe says "but if I go back, he wins and we don't want that, I am not going back"
6. Hamster amygdala stops screaming and frontal lobe feels smart.

Sorry I know that was a bit on the tongue-in-cheek side but I honestly think that's whats happening. We need to go back in spite of our fear in order for our amydala to "learn" that even though this once was a dangerous activity, it no longer is. Eventually, it even can learn it is a pleasurable and good thing to move towards the other because our needs get met.

This is incredibly frustrating because we cannot THINK our way through it, its not about what we know, its about what we've experienced. And we like to see ourselves as cool, rational, thinking people (especially in Western culture). If it was just about knowledge, we could walk through the door and the T would hand us a book "How to live a happy, healthy life" and we'd say "thanks, see ya'" (yes, that IS my perfect fantasy) but it doesn't work that way.

Please ask yourself a couple of questions. What does he win? Why is it bad if he wins? Why do I NEED to win? If you find yourself unable to answer those questions despite the feeling of him needing not to win to be SO strong, there's a fairly good chance the list I gave above is operating.

How do I know this? Cause my #$%^&%$%$ T does this questioning thing to me all the time.

AG