And another Yes, yes and yes

and what Liese said.


At times it has been unbearable. I have gone thru periods of totally fighting - it always felt like I was in quicksand and it was inevitable that I would become dependent and to just give in and let it happen...

Being dependent on another person has been a bad, bad concept all my life and to be dependent on a person that you share so much personal stuff with and with whom you are the most vulnerable - OMG, was just the worse thing. it took a very long time - and it still is something I fight.

I wouldn't tell T how MUCH I would think of her - to me that feels bad and stalkerish - but I tell her bits of it. She welcomes it and says that I need to go through this process and be dependent on her to trust her and trust the process and then I can heal.

It feels like such a bad and cruel process when you are the person going through it as an adult. It is also so incredibly difficult to explain to people.

I enjoy talking about it here and with T as it helps me process and feel ok about it.
Somedays