Skip to main content

The PsychCafe
Share, connect, and learn.

Reply to "Ups and Downs- updated- session"

Ahhh of course, I was getting on my internal soap box and completely overlooked the fact that you are in Christian therapy and a totally committed Christian and therefore the whole concept of loving others is really important, as well of course, as the whole concept of loving yourself WITHOUT it being in the context of loving others would be anathemic to your moral principles. Sorry Smiler

I’m just a bit sad that Cowboy asked you a loaded question like that, with a predetermined ‘right’ answer that actually stopped you from looking into what it really would be like to love yourself. From my own experience, I think it’s impossible to truly love anyone else UNTIL you love yourself, the cup has to be overflowing to share of it, if it’s dry then no amount of shoulds and oughts and wants and moral imperatives are going to fill it up.

I dunno Beebs, it just strikes me that there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with having wanted, even needed, Ts love in order to experience what it’s like to love yourself. This is basically at the heart of attachment based stuff anyway – that the ability to love oneself is utterly dependent in the first place on someone else loving you – whether that be unconditional acceptance of who you are, all of you, or getting lots of emotional validation and encouragement…

If you think you might be holding onto the notion of yourself as a ‘bad’ person out of laziness or some other reason, well the obvious thing to do would be to look at why that’s so important to you, what’s going on underneath that you’re keeping out of awareness (out of fear, at least) – rather than trying to consciously change your set up. What’s in it for you to maintain a sense of being a ‘bad’ person (as in, what is that covering up, what even worse thing is lurking underneath that makes being a bad person a preferred state?) Questions like that I’d assume would come up in therapy, at least I’d hope so. Understanding is the key to change, not pulling yourself up by the boot straps…

Yeah I’ve just told you what to do all over again Roll Eyes

Have fun with the sanding – hope you’re wearing a face mask and ear defenders!

((((( Beebs )))))

LL
×
×
×
×
×