I'm so sorry I haven't checked back to say thank you to everyone for all your amazing and supportive replies...I appreciate every one of you, and I've read every response with gratitude.

The tears have dried up, for now, but I am carrying now a constant warm feeling for my old T and when I remember his kind and supportive words to me, that peaceful/painful feeling comes back again. I don't know how it will pan out as time goes on, I know I can't go back to him...but for now I'm so much better with it than I have been for so very long, that all I can feel is relief and joy when I think of T. He really said some very, very kind things to me in those emails, that he did not have to say. It felt so good to know that he cares.

It feels so good to know that I'm ok with him...that he really doesn't have bitter feelings about me, and that he understands. He also told me that he will never forget me. It means so much to me...just to feel that he remembers me and that I am a person that mattered enough to him to write back, without any compensation to get from it, too.

Lamps thanks for checking in and reminding me...I kept meaning to reply but my house is literally a disater zone as I am trying desperately to finish this kitchen remodel I started so many months ago, and which I've had to do most of the work on myself. So it was hard to post yesterday because I was sanding drywall all day long, and then I had choir, and then I just dropped into bed.

Sending love to each and every one of you!

Beebs