I am sorry that this is so hard. We have an expectation that we should feel better and get over it in a time liited period. But grief is not like that and has no finite end point, it will be different for everybody depending on so many things - and each is normal. And like other wise folk here have said too, it's good to keep talking about it, every time you talk, maybe a tiny little piece falls into place for you. There has been so much hurt caused by what has happened.
BB I wouldn't contact him again. If he wanted to reply or had any sense of responsibility or compassion , he would have done so last time
. Don't put yourself through any more unecessary hurt dearest BB
starfishy