Sorry Beebs for saying it triggered me and causing you to lose your poll results. Look - at the moment a lot of things are triggering me - and you know what someone somewhere is probably triggered by each post on the forum here. I take responsibility for knowing how much i can take and if it is too much, I won't write on a thread.

I am in this too - as your story is my experience at the moment. Hearing your story is painful for me - but all the advice you are getting from people here is helping me too.

I am reassured when i read TN's message that you need to keep talking - that is how I feel also. I kept thinking 'it has been x days, x weeks - i should be coping' - now i know that it will take a year or so. Termination is trauma to already traumatised people - doesn't matter how the term is done.

Unbelievably - I haven't had an urge to email youngT back after our final session. I have cut her from my life! It helped that I had already seen T before the final session - so I had already hooked in to help.

Now I see youngT each month when i visit the practice (to see childT) - and it is very difficult for me. To know that she just keeps seeing other people and I used to be someone she saw. I actually never want to say anything to her at that time - I am always in shock - I never come away from that thinking "oh, i should have asked this or that' - I am left with a black sadness in the pit of my soul where I don't have words. A burden of grief that causes tears to flow. youngT explained really well to me the reasons for our termination - I agree with it - but it is the leftover grief, trauma, rejection, attachment injury - that is left as a wound. Her words or any extra explanation won't heal that.

I am wondering whether - even if you got the explanation to your questions - that you would still have all the grief as I do. I thought me accepting the rational reasons for the termination would help me heal quicker - but it hasn't seemed to have helped. I have to heal myself.

I am sorry beebs. Hope my words helped in some way.