Hi Beebs... I voted no because I do not think that getting an email from him will give you any real closure in this situation. Not yet at least. It may be too soon. I'd also like to know what YOU would want to hear from him? What do you wish he could say to give you the closure you need?

Please understand that I'm asking these very hard questions from the place of someone who has been through this for more than a year now. You know how hard I struggled to get that last session with my oldT. It did not really give me what I needed. Yes, I was able to say things to him that I held inside for over a year (mostly because I was prohibited from any contact with him). But in the end it did not help me that much. I really didn't get anything back from him except maybe that he was angry at me and totally clueless as to the horrific pain, trauma and grief he caused me. He had NO idea what he did to me or what he meant to me. And I understood how easy it was for him to just dismiss me from his mind and life. I was no one to him and that hurt so much.

So you want to know what helped? My T. Talking endlessly with him... for a year... almost the entire year twice a week about my pain and my grief and my anger and my frustrations over being abandoned. Every session. Crying with him, feeling his care, feeling his consistency, hearing his soothing voice, being able to contact him out of session, having him be dependable and allowing me to be totally dependent on him for awhile. This and just plain ole time was what helped me. I still carry this ball of pain inside of me but it's not as big as it used to be. Sometimes the grief hits me out of the blue but I am managing it and I know my steady, consistent, caring, smart T is there as my back-up. I also have you guys here on the Board and a few close friends I can talk to.

So... I suggest that when you feel you can that you talk to "your" T about all of this. Keep talking to him about old geezerT and how what happened makes you feel and think. Tell him about the email and what you would like to do. Tell him how not getting a response hurts you. And keep talking about what HE thinks really happened in that relationship.

Beebs, the worse thing is that there is no quick fix to this pain and grief. And I know it's agony while you are mired in it.

Sending you lotsa hugs and kind thoughts.
TN