I'm trying to understand if this is more transference or just attachment to your therapist. My experience of transference is that I feel my T as a parental figure. I want want things from him that I would want from a good parent. I am scared he will abandon me and disappear from my life, like my father did. When he acts/talks certain ways, I get triggered into seeing him in ways that are not congruent with our actual relationship and my experiences of his kindness and caring. So, for me, the positive transference experiences are things like wanting him to take care of me, wanting to just be with him all the time, being anxious about being separated from him, wanting him to hug me, etc. It isn't positive in terms that it always feels good. It's positive in terms that I am reacting to him as if he is a "good parental figure" from my childhood. T is good and safe = positive. T feels like my dad and I feel like his kiddo = transference of the therapeutic relationship into one that feels like parent-child. Negative transference experiences for me are things like being sure he is going to abandon me, abuse me, is thinking nasty things about me, hates me, etc. T is mean and unsafe to rely on = negative. T feels neglectful, abusive and abandoning like many of my actual experiences with my mom and dad = transference.

In both positive and negative transference, my experiences of my T are either incongruent with or out of proportion to the reality of our interactions in a way that directly relates to my past experiences. Is this what you experience with your T? Or is it just that you feel safe with her and really want to talk to her? I have a feeling you mean the former, but I wanted to make sure. It's not a pleasant experience, but if your T is open and accepting of working through it and exploring it with you, I've found it can really move things along in a way that just talking about my past never has. So, I hope you can consider not giving up.