Stuck - I just want to say that you are so brave. I have been trying to explain my "dad" transference to H (and how it interferes with our marriage when I am not finding understanding/acceptance at home, but AM in therapy) and he doesn't really get it. We're OK, but I get that feeling of disconnect and how hard it is to have someone you love very much and you're working hard to connect with be hurt and angered by your honest communication.

I'm sorry not being with T is hurting you so much, but so glad you seem to have your new T to walk through it with. I get what you mean about transference feeling like it will never end, but I really hope that's not true! Because, my goal is to be able to see T and still care about that connection, but not in a way that feels like I will die once we finish our work together. H is pretty adamant about a very firm end, for now at least, so I'm scared if these feelings never go away or diminish, I will be suffering so much and most likely be even closer and more dependent by then. I have to imagine once it internally connects with what it is about, it gets easier...right? Please!!! Hopefully, your mourning process will also be something that can connect to what your transference is about.