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Reply to "Update on Transference"

Hi again,

Thank you to all of you for helping me and supporting me through this.

My wife and I had the conversation about my transference with our marriage T. Only time will tell how it really effected her. But I feel much better that I have no secrets to hide anymore. I told her that I found support through our marriage T. The support that I wasn’t finding in our marriage.

Over the past few months, our marriage has improved. Had it not been for that, this would not have gone over so well. My wife was angered (hurt) by this at first. She definitely does NOT understand transference. But I think by the end of the conversation, she excepted it…MAYBE?? My marriage T will be contacting her in the next few days to reinforce what I said and maybe explain it in terms that she can understand.

As far as not being able to see my couples T anymore...that hurt! After she told me, I couldn't stop crying. I didn't sleep that night. I sat in front of the computer for an hour debating on if I should send her an email that simply said, "I'm hurt. Not mad. Just really hurt". I ended up not sending it. I had to hide the crying from my wife. The following day, I went to my new T. He was a big help. He told me I was in mourning. I was grieving for the loss of somebody that was important to me and now she is gone forever. I really really lost it when he said that. I cried really hard because he was right. I cried all through the day. The next day, I felt much better. I still miss my T but I am now dealing with the loss. The difference between transference and grieving is that grieving/mourning eventually ends. Transference feels like it will never end. I'm happy about that.

Thanks again for all your support through this confusing time.
I hope I'm coming unStuckBetweenRockandHardPlace
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