Stuck - I'm glad you were able to work out a way to tell your wife, but sorry it seems to have come at the expense of so much pain for you. I would go ahead and email your T about these feelings that are coming up and let her know. Stuffing those feelings probably won't be healthy in the long run. It doesn't mean she will necessarily change her opinion, but as you're still working in marital therapy with this T, I think openness is to the benefit of your therapy experience and your marriage.

I am so sorry she doesn't feel she can work with you anymore. I understand it, yet I don't really. I guess, as a matter of conflict with the marital therapy, I can understand it...but as a matter of the T/client relationship, everything in me is screaming how wrong that is. Imagining my T doing that to me is devastating. Again, I'm not in marital counseling, but H and I see the same T, so imagining him saying he had to pick between us is terrifying. I'm sure it must be very painful. I hope you stick around and get support here as long as you need it!