Thank you so much BB. Everybody's words have been so helpful! After my last post, I emailed my T to get more advice on how I should tell my wife. I made many good points about how this would really hurt my wife. But I also agreed that I had to tell my wife something because she has seen me in so much pain. I made so many good points in the email that my T just wanted me to come in for an individual session.

I did so today. It went well. We worked out a truthful way to address it that shouldn't hurt my wife. To sum it up, I simply tell my wife that since I couldn't find support in my marriage, I found it in therapy. Things have gotten better btween my wife and I and I think she'll agree that we haven't been supportive to each other. We think this is a good way to go.

Now for the bad part. And I didn't see this coming. My T told me that I shouldn't come to her anymore for individual therapy. This is for 2 reasons. 1, so my wife doesn't suspect that I'm going to see my therapist for any reasons other than therapy. 2, it's for my own good. While I had already had these thoughts, and deep down I agree, I hated to hear it. I just didn't think she would do that. That REALLY sucks.

I had been going to a different individual therapist before I told my marriage T about this so she suggest I go to him.

Thanks for all of your support through this.

-Brad