I am sorry that you are alone especially with all the holidays at this time of the year. I don't know too much about transference but i imagine your T saying she loves you would certainly add to the confusion. What i do know is that transference is irrespective of sexual orientation and doesn't seem to care about thinks like male and female.
It is also hard and painful to go through and i just wanted to say that i do understand and relate and that you are not alone.
Pan