I'm sorry it's taken so long to respond to this post, but I have been really struggling with what to say. I want to be really supportive to what you're going through but I also want to be really honest with you. You sound very grounded and like you are staying very aware and present as you work through this, which is no small thing.
But some of the things that you said I found troubling. I may be projecting my own problems and struggles on to you so take this with a grain of salt. There's a good chance that I'm just not as far along my healing path as you are on yours. But you speaking of feeling tension because you're mentor was talking to someone else and how simply it was resolved makes me worry that there is more going on than you are looking at and being conscious of, and doing this in an environment where the boundaries are not clear feels really dangerous to me. Then you said
quote:It is interesting how I had chosen a T, who has similarities to my mother/parents, including in some ways the way she relates to her partner.
and that sounded really scary. My parents and how they related are part of what has left me so damaged. The very troubles that took me to therapy in the first place were because I was finding people like my parents and unconsciously trying to fix what went wrong the first time through. The fact that you see similarities to your mother/parents makes me worry that there is a serious amount of countertransference going on with your T so that instead of working through these feelings, you are actually engaging in the same patterned dance that you've always experienced. I am really sorry if this seems too harsh, I really am speaking up out of concern for you.
And I know I could be wildly far of the mark but I felt like it would be wrong not to speak up. Thank you for coming and talking about what your experience is. I really appreciate your openess. I hope I haven't chased you off.
AG