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Reply to "Update on Transference"

quote:
Originally posted by SprintingGal:
But get a hobby? I don't only think of him because I have "too much time on my hands." I am naturally a thoughtful, inquisitive person who is curious about things. When I don't understand something, I seek out all the information on it that I can. What is wrong with that?

Absolutely nothing is wrong with that. I do the same thing but it is at times when I am so “wrapped up in it” myself that I personally feel obsessive. Not that it is obsessive because I would tell someone else that it is not. But sometimes I have a hard time hearing my own voice because my father’s critical voice is so loud. I was just looking for some counterbalance to my own mixed emotions. (someone out there please tell me I’m not obsessive Eeker )

I am naturally inquisitive too and a self proclaimed information junkie. The Internet can be a dangerous place and my T has also “maternally warned me” to be careful how much information I accept as “truth” on the Internet. I love how she cares for me. But I assure her that I am aware that half the stuff (conservatively) is junk.Big Grin

But if it weren’t for the Internet, like River, I would have never learned that what I was feeling for my T was transference let alone learned what transference was all about. It appeared that she was never going to clue me in on it so I had to do some fancy footwork and load my barrels before I could confront her. If it wasn’t for the Internet I would have never found this site or made such nice friends/acquaintances here, and I would have not yet found the courage to expose my rawest emotions and trust that it was really ok. I wonder what clients did before the Internet?? LOL

Anyway, you don’t need to have “too much time on your hands” to think of someone nor would I ever accuse anyone else of “having too much time on their hands.” I hope it didn't sound like I was doing that. I know I can go through the day as busy as a bee but somewhere, whether consciously or subconsciously, I am always thinking of my T. The only reason I said that of myself is because I seriously could not move to do anything else yesterday (though I had lots that needed to be done) because of my neck spasms. It was a self-deprecating statement as to why I was surfing the web on transference again when I have a completely useful tool right here. That is what triggered my “old” obsessive feelings I used to get when I would endlessly search for any information on transference because it is ALL I could think about then. It felt obsessive “then.”

The get a hobby part… I hope you don’t think that is my statement; I was quoting what you said in your post. Wink
quote:
Yesterday I found some excerpts from a book by David Richo called, "When the Past is Present." I don't know if it is any good, but this struck a huge chord with me:

I bet that did. It sounds like an interesting book. Let me know what you think if you ever read the whole thing. I’d be interested in reading it too if you find it helpful.Cool

I too have experienced transference feelings for others besides my T. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but looking back I did that a lot and to be honest, I now find it reassuring to know what it was because I used to think that something was wrong with me and that people would think I was weird if they knew how I felt about them. It was usually school teachers, and once it was a friend’s mom I wished was my mom. Another time it was toward a lady for whom I babysat her son, and even in my adult life I’ve had a couple friends that evoked transference feelings for me. But I love the safety and openness of it in my therapy. (I never thought I’d hear myself say that! I love transference-HA!)-I need therapy! Smiler
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