With the several mentionings on forum about this sort of negative reaction to transference it really seems to be a bigger problem than I ever thought. I am not getting these therapists who are shying away from the whole transference experience when most should at the very least be aware that this is a good indication that their client is primed to work through their issues. And for those who are willing to surrender themselves to it can mean so much and most T’s would welcome such an opportunity for such access to their client because it is such a great pathway into being able to help them heal.
And SprintingGal, "Get a hobby or write romance novels about him??" C’mon! Actually the writing of romance novels may not be so bad if it were to work through the feelings beneath the surface like “journaling” helps to do, but I am inclined to believe it may only fuel the fantasies if not given proper expression and direction.
I am sorry if I am reacting too strongly, but I am truly astonished and my heart goes out to all of you. I hope that you can somehow get your T to see this for what it really is and continue to express your needs. Don’t let them sweep them under the rug or shy away from them, that is probably the same offense that happened in your childhood. "HELLO-Why I am here?"
Keep up the dialogue and let them squirm!
Shrinklady, (I know you must be extremely busy) but what do you make of this?? I for one am fumed at the feelings of rejection and confusion this leaves in the clients who are trying to work with it and understand it.
JM