Hi AG!
Been catching up on recent posts since I've been away for a few weeks. (Boy did I miss my T terribly. I had a wonderful vacation but missed being in her presence. I was so busy preparing for vacation that it didn't dawn on me how much I was going to miss her until it HIT me the day before I left and I just started crying. I called her on the phone and expressed my insecurities to which she was so attuned to.

It's funny how I can relate to so many experiences here and it's helpful to know that I am not alone. I especially relate to your statement "I woke up an hour later and realized that my mind had done one of those lateral slippages where it all finally comes together, that you've been working on it somewhere out of sight, unconsciously and I had one of those moments of insight where I experience the knowledge instead of just knowing it."
Those moments of epiphany are amazing!

It is painful not having our needs met in infancy and childhood and thus the desire (longing) for our T's to take care of our needs and to nurture us, to love us and understand us, to make us feel important & secure, and to hold us. Although they cannot do this directly they do so symbolically through this wonderful relationship we call therapy. I've learned that I can go back (mentally)and nurture myself at those crucial moments as they come up. I can even imagine my real parents taking part and becoming the ideal parents I never had, but fantasized about my whole life. It is truly a healing experience.

Anyway, just wanted to feel in touch.

JM