Thanks so much for your response to my last post, it is always good to realize that other people feel the same thing. Although I wish we were sharing feelings that were more pleasant to have.
But thank you for the encouragement. And I agree, there is NO space of time longer than the last month of pregnancy!! Even missing a T doesn't compare, hang in there.Shrinklady,
Thank you so much for your comment, it is always so encouraging to hear from you. And you're exactly right, my T is completely available emotionally while being extremely careful about the boundaries, allowing me to hear both heard and safe. I think a major part of the epiphany was recognizing the things that I am getting from my T that I need so much versus what I want from him that I'm not getting and how good it is that I'm not. His ability to be available and accept all my feelings and let me discuss them is what has allowed me to see the underlying issues and how its really been about avoiding the pain of my childhood and the need to feel it and mourn it. And his being available has also created a place in which I can do that. I am incredibly grateful to have found this man. And grateful that I've been able to do this work (see I'm learning, I'm taking some credit!
) I also agree with what River posted, when I am dealing with really difficult stuff and the emotions are really strong, I can feel my T right beside me every step of the way, sometimes he will ask about one of my reactions almost before I can consciously register it, that more than anything else has communicated how much I matter and how much he cares.Russ,
Welcome to the boards, I'm so glad you're posting! I know this is really difficult but it sounds like you're in a good place (as horrible as it feels). I'm really glad that what you've read here has helped. We've all found that having a place to be understood can really help you get through it.
Sorry this had been so scattershot, but I'm still on vacation and internet access is limited!! Thanks!
AG