It does drive me crazy sometimes not knowing much about my T's "outside" life. My last T was very open about hers so when I started with this T I didn't understand why she never told me anything about herself. I figured she didn't trust me to respect her privacy and that really annoyed me until we finally talked about it and she explained the whole "blank page" thing. She didn't mention the transference stuff then but now I wish she had. I struggled with those feelings for a long time before I found out it was normal.
I talked to my T yesterday about my problem with her and my boss being friends. OMG! It was so hard to talk about. I felt so embarrassed because my feelings had no logic to them. But I finally spit it all out but was still afraid to ask if they really are friends. Luckily she saw my struggle and volunteered the information that no, they are not friends just acquaintances. Well, that information as well as finally spilling my guts and not being judged at all or thought ridiculous has really made me feel worlds better!
When I think about all of this, I think what I really wanted was to know if I could trust my T. Would she really protect our relationship? Is this new level of intimacy going to backfire on me like it has with others in the past? So far so good. Hopefully the next time something like this comes up I will just be able to ask the question instead of getting all tied up into knots.
Thank you guys for your support this week. It meant a lot to not be alone.