I am coming to accept that having these "crushes" is actually a good thing even though it feels like torture because I am trying not to scare anyone off. I haven't yet been able to express any of these feelings to anyone but my T and even that took a really long time. I guess I am afraid that if I reveal myself even a little bit then I am wide open to rejection but if I hide too much then I am invisible. Relating to people just does not come naturally for me, I always feel like I am trying to learn a foreign language. So, is there anyway to find "relief" from the crush experience with someone if you are pretty sure you won't be able to talk to them about it?