The main reason I chose to stay in his office was to be near him and see him. This is no way a ship in the night that will keep going to be remembered no more...you probably didn't know that I had been seeing him since April of this year, so there is definitly a bond between us. AG, The 2nd reason is that he wants to"Supervise" my progress from the sideline is the phrase he used. I will see the other T, but he will be keeping up with the sessions and making the suggestions for her to give me. Is that the plan of a man that isn't concerned? He offered to refer me to someone else a few blocks down the street, but the thought of not ever seeing him again was more than I could bear!
The 3rd reason is he is one of the best around here! He has several Dr. Degrees, and he stays booked all the time. My neurologist is good friends with him otherwise I would have been on a 3 month waiting list to see him, yes he is quite aware of the transference deal, and he even told me when I expressed my feelings for him that he had dealt with transference before...That's when I told him "I guess so because you are just to ---- sexy for your own good!"...not that he really would ever be on the cover of a magazine for a Mr. Ameica contest, but his gentle voice and abilities make him appear to be for me...anyway (Is it hot in here?) He told me would not terminate me as a patient unless his feelings towrds me changed or became a threat in keeping me safe, (and he told me he did not feel the same about me then) or I was not making progress in my therapy because of the feelings I had for him. I really don't believe 2 weeks later was enough time to see if I was making progress or not do you??
I know he was flattered when I told him 50 times how great of a Dr. he was and that he was the only one that could help me, (when I was begging him not to stop seeing him)...I had already told him that when I revealed my feelings earlier...I know he is doing the right thing for me and him...I really did understand the whole situation, but being "Dumped" I guess you could say after your husband has sorta "Dumped you 5 months earlier....And then he is the only one you have began to trust since then...it was devastating...I literally felt like just tearing his office all to pieces...but that would have only got me arrested probably
...I was terribly hurt beyond hurt..but I had to buckle up and say "Charlotte, you are a beautiful woman!, no wonder he couldn't help himself!" and try to move beyond what has happened, (even if that's not the reason) but it will in no way be easy or something I really want to do... but I do love my husband of 30 years, and I feel like he is in transference with something over me...I was in a wreck, I have extensive medical problems, and we both had to have surgery...yes that will make you drift apart and have a few problems...not to mention I believe he is going thru the midlife crisis...exercising, coloring his hair, etc...I guess the timing was right for both of us...but I pray everyday that we can get it together and have another 30...and the final reason I wanted to stay is so that he could see that I did want to get better and get myself together...get in shape and lose this milkshake belly he caused..(LOL)...Talk to you soon my friends...can you tell I have nervous energy?? I have rambled on too long...but I have enjoyed getting some of this out of my head...sorta writers therapy I guess...Thanks for listening!!Charlotte