As fas as not getting the touch/contact is concerned, I have had a problem with it a couple of times because my T has always put her arm around me while we walk down the hallway to the exit (this started as 'routine' at the 3rd session with her) and there has been I think 2 times she hasn't done this in the now 20 sessions I've had with her. It's a bit hard for me because it's a disruption in the 'routine' and feels strange, but I think it's just my need to deal with change rather than needing that from her. Don't know exactly. The last time this happened I had a pretty good session with her and left feeling good, but ended up spinning about the lack of touch. Guess I need to ponder on that one.
Sorry to hear you really do understand the attachment-to-your-therapist bind. It isn't the funnest ride, is it? Sometimes I think it might be better to not have any of the stuff I have from my T and to have more of the 'blank slate' type T. Who knows, maybe some day I'll get me one of those!
Thanks for opening up the subject, Russ. It's been interesting food for thought.
MTF