But I think that if I could do whatever it was that created *that* then I would also be able to make a decision to stop drinking. Or- drinking wouldn't even be a problem in the first place.
Maybe my depression really is just a bio-chemical genetic thingy, despite what my T said- and there is no underlying psychological pain, and I am just making all that other "I've been hard done by" stuff up. this isn't like denial- I am *really* wondering if it's true. The only sibling in my family I was close to has rejected me for not subscribing to the "it's just genetic" thingy. I don't know what to believe anymore.