I think it's kind of ironic that even though my dad was the one who passed, I long for a female mother figure in my life. Despite the disease, I was a complete and total Daddy's Girl. My mom did give me love and attention, but I just so happened to be closer to my dad. When he died, it was like I lost a huge part of my heart and soul. I tried to connect with my mom, but it's very different than the relationship I had with my dad. Now that my mom is remarried and even though I get along fairly well with my stepdad, I still don't feel like I can connect with her on that deep level like I did with my dad, even though at the same times wish I cold, which is why I latch on to older strong female figures. My current T is probably the first one who I have latched on so intensely to and I've told her that many times. I'm glad she in a sense, accepts my attachment even though we both know it's not for forever. With her, she's helping me to break the cycle of alcoholism since I did pick up drinking pretty heavily due to my anxiety and depression over losing my dad. One day, and one session at a time...it's getting better, and for once I'm actually letting someone be a "mother" to me.