TN,
Earlier this year after I had worked through my major traumas I came to the conclusion that I was done with therapy and discussed this with my T. I knew it was approaching and I held my feelings about that at bay until I finally broke down and cried in her office and I confessed that I am not ready to terminate. I felt like I was going to die. I didn’t care that she had an open door policy and I could call her and see her as often as I wanted to and that she would gradually lengthen the time between sessions to make it easier. (Pull the band aid off slowly why don’t ya!) I couldn’t bear the loss and I felt myself grieving my own mother’s death and previous unavailability to me all over again. This was also one of the times my T shared in my tears with me as she comforted me and insisted that I don’t have to leave until I am ready to leave. It was always my call and will always BE my call. And we’ve been working on my insecure attachment ever since and to be honest, I don’t see an end in sight any time soon. There is a lot of work to be done there. But yet I know that it is important that one day I move on, and I will. Someday.
JM