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Reply to "Hurting to be attached"

Sadly: So sorry to hear about your friend. That is very considerate of your P to be in contact with you. I do hope you get through this all with minimum trauma. Lots of hugs

I suppose I am just feeling very sorry for myself. It's been an aweful year and everyday is just a struggle to keep surviving and fighting, and the holiday has just really come at a very bad time. I'm wanting her to be the mother I never had and she does fit the profile for an hour a week - it's nice to know that, that hour is mine, away from all the hurt and pain, to feel safe and understood. It's the inbetween that I can't cope with - I'm NOT coping and don't know how I am going to gain control over my life, I'm falling apart - just watching myself fade away.
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