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Reply to "How much pain is okay"

(((RM))) I'm not in a great place today, so I feel like my advice is not worth much, but I can provide solidarity.

Sometimes I feel like I have to make a list of coping skills when I am feeling halfway decent, then refer back to them, because if I try to come up with them while I'm hurting it sometimes feels impossible to come up with.

I've always sort of viewed therapy in the same light as exercise... you know when you're working a muscle it's going to be really uncomfortable, but if that muscle starts screaming in agony then you may need to adjust the approach, if that makes any sense...

It seems like whatever amount of self compassion you can muster really will go a long way. I know it's very difficult to find that, but trying to at least treat yourself kindly, even if it feels strange to do so.

And it seems like reaching out to connect with others when it's most intense is pretty important too. So I'd say do that as much as you can.

I'm sorry it's so tough
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