thanks for all of your interesting and diverse views.

Elsewhere, i don't mean to imply that T would be taking "sides", and Exploring neither do I mean to come across as saying that my ex is "bad" or that "bad" people don't deserve help and compassion, and i do fully understand that we're all the way we are in large part because of how we were raised and have been treated by others, and that we are all deserving of compassion and getting help in order to make our lives better and more meaningful.

this is hypothetical: i'm seeing my T and we've got a good relationship going and i trust him and he knows my story and he is very empathic. say my ex starts to see my T but T does not know he's my ex (of course he would figure it out, but this is hypothetical). He will show my ex the same compassion and empathy that he shows me because that is a requirement of the job. i guess it's not so much the taking of sides that i have a hard time wrapping my brain around, it's that how can i now believe that the compassion and empathy for ME are real? REAL. That's the part i struggle with.

Yaku, i like what you said about Ts approaching each client differently. That makes sense and somehow lends me some comfort.