Yeah I had that fear too about having to terminate sooner than I wanted to because of emdr. I know what you mean about being rebellious against structured things too.
I have researched it and even did it once with my old T. It went well. But that's the thing now I see a new T and I don't konw her that well and I am skeptical etc. I didn't laugh about it really. Well yeah I guess I did laugh at first. She taps my hands which is better than some of the alternatives.
I am afraid of what I will uncover. But then the new T assures me that it will be all contained. My fear is that what if it's not all contained?