Thanks AG for moving this.
(((GG))) you are quite gracious.
I think someone's behavior stays the same despite diagnosis and sometimes people react to our personalities based on our personalities - especially if it is consistent over time - regardless of a diagnosis. As a person and the general perceptions we throw out there it brings us certain reactions/relations regardless.
For example it is common for abuse victims to be abused multiple times (I was sexually abused by several people even later in life). Or I would attract certain types of partners. Even with the person I'm dating now I can see that - despite major healthy differences - a part of her history of neglect is attracted to my emotional distance just as I am attracted to the part in her that needs more contact because I've been used to attending to someone else to avoid my own stuff. The dynamic is very slight but still exists... My T has a history of being with distant people who also did couldn't be fully present with her - naturally her H has some dissociative issues and she has 'shadow sides' about her that likely attracted him.
It's not a "fault" it's just human nature to repeat the same stuff even of on a slight level. People perceive me as distant... Because I am and it is my behavior right now. Despite whatever diagnosis I have there are still just plain truths. We are many things - what we are, how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive is. I find the weirdest patterns in how people relate to me... It gives me a lot of frustration and a lot of room for self reflection.
Anyway... We've all got stuff that could fit in to tons of diagnosis. My T works with how I need rather than a treatment model... Reacting to how I am with general guidelines. I also don't like to assign my reactions as something or a model for me to be. Anyway... I'm rambling! I figure if I go hysterical it's not more acceptable because I have "anxiety" rather than psychosis or whatever.
(((Draggers))) it wasn't your fault
shit storm is one of my favorite descriptions.