I agree that there definately is a balance between control and the subject you are going to talk about. I am always defensive and have learned to let my guard down. My T has helped me to understand that the anxious/defensive part of me is there to help me and the more I try to suppress feelings/thoughts, the worse it gets. I have learned to compartmentalize, but there is a time to compartmentalize and a time to talk about it. It has taken me a long time to realize that I don't always have to have control. He says he has other clients who have run around the room, screaming, to try to deal with their issues. And that's the one thing that I don't want to do is to look like a freak. But, the more I work with this wonderful, understanding, compassionate T, the more comfortable I am talking about the difficult things. He knows it isn't easy. But he pushes me and he nudges me along. He knows I need it and I know I won't get any better if I don't face it and deal with it. And I like the fact that he has a lot of different "tools"/modalities in his arsenal that he utilizes to bring about change in me.