quote:

I am not sure I am making any sense here? Do you get what I mean?

Yes!!! I totally get this.

I was going to reply to your post about control, and now you've thrown even MORE food for thought out there... hmm!

This is a huge issue for me because I very often feel like I don't have control in therapy. Reading your post has made me think about my own situation, and realizing how much that feeling might just be coming from me. I really see the logic behind what you're feeling about the clock, and I get why you'd have that response to your stand-in T. But it is interesting, in this case-- of course the time issue would be easily solved by your wearing a watch, or putting your phone in front of you, or something-- but there's something here that's standing in the way of you 'fixing' the problem for yourself, and deciding instead that the therapist is in complete control of the situation. Echoing here what stoppers said-- in a way, it's you who is giving that power over to her.

I don't mean to discredit or discount your feelings about the situation-- I would be TOTALLY turned off by a T saying "you are to rely on me"... and it would definitely play into my own fears of being controlled and manipulated. But I am also seeing that's it possible for you to bring something different to this picture, and maybe create an experience you are more comfortable with.

Good luck!