((((AG))))

((((mallard)))) I've had a sort of disappointed reaction. I should have prefaced my last post by saying that it was my fault the topic was even brought up. I mumbled something about wondering if I was co-dependent and it was like I opened the door and T was ever eager to come running through it. She said she had been thinking about bringing it up.

*sigh again* I agree that it seems there are many different definitions for it. And I agree that it is not good to put such a complex issue into a neat little package of how to cure it.

Here's my issue- While I do have pretty much all of the traits mentioned in the article, esp the ones you mentioned, I don't really think this applies to exT. I don't think it's accurate to explore my relationship with him in the light of what this article explains, because this is referring to relationships between two people on equal ground. A T relationship is different.

I am vacillating between holding onto a sense of anger and self protection to later seeing everything from "his side" when I think of exT. I keep listening to my gut and reason one moment, thinking I am sure of myself and my memories of how he behaved. Then the next moment I dive into self blame again and think of the whole situation in the way T2 wanted to portray it. I feel like she was right, he was just a good guy who made mistakes. And then I feel like a horrible person, and then I feel angry, and then I believe myself again. It's getting exhausting.

I guess the what it comes down to though, is that again, co-dependency doesn't apply with a T relationship does it?

This T does not work in terms of attachment, which is becoming clearer with each session... I like her and think she is a great T, but attachment doesn't seem to even be in her vocabulary.

*Long sigh*