LL, I would like to respond to this thread for you but my recent events and heartbreak would taint things and perhaps I'm not yeat clear enough about what happened to reply.

The attachment to my T was swift....by the third time I met with him and not even individually but with my son. There was a very strong connection there and looking back...I think my T felt it too. Maybe that's why he threw caution to the wind and agreed to treat both of us. I liked that he was warm, open, genuine, knowledgeable and seemed like I could depend on him to get everything in my life back under control, especially with my little boy.

The attachment grew and got stronger and was absolutely real. The caring was real. His desire to help me was real. Our progress was real and good. All of a sudden he had a crisis of confidence and decided he could not help me any longer. The attachment was what kept me going back to him week after week when I was scared and in pain. The attachment was what allowed him into my world or abuse and mistreatment. It allowed my sense of safety to grow and my trust to build. It was essential to the work we did.

But I would damn well make sure that whatever T you see is experienced in trauma work, has a real understanding of attachment issues. Has no problems handling that or transference of any kind. And understands that this is a long-term project and does not move quickly or in recognizable LEAPS of progress and that its okay to regress and still be getting well.

The thing is that I allowed myself to get attached to my T. I let it happen. I won't do that ever again. I'm not saying that you should not let that happen. When it's good and done with an experienced T with trauma and attachment who can handle their symbolic role in your life then I'm sure it's wonderful and healing. When it's done with a T who cannot handle how important they are to you , then it can be VERY damaging. I know you may not believe this but I can control my attachments to people and how much of it I can tolerate. Personally, I will avoid any kind of attachment to anyone ever again, but that is just what works for me now. I can like the person and have a resonable amount of confidence in their abilities but never again would I allow the attachment that I have with my T.

I wish you all the best in this and I hope it becomes a healing experience for you. You have hung in there and worked so hard to find someone and you deserve to have a wonderful experience.

Hugs
TN