Pengs,

I would do a lot different. My models were not very good; therefore, I did not know how. I love my kids and was a decent parent considering how I was parented. Suffering from post-partum depression lasting five long years and being brushed off by doctors made it worse. My kids are older and back then post-partum was "just the baby blues". If you were, shhhh...depressed, you were weak and inadequate. I came seconds away from suicide with my second child and am alive purley through the grace of God. I was very isolated with zero support and my husband was overwhlemed. The "wrong" thing I did, unknowingly, was "care" too much. I tried to be what my parents were not. Became very overprotective and careful to a fault. I see all of that now and am much better at letting go and allowing them to flourish on there own. Happily, when the shit does hit the fan, they come running to me because they know I will always help them through anything and deeply care and love them and that feels good!