I would have let them cry as long as they needed instead of telling them, "That's enough. It's okay. Stop crying." I used to feel uncomfortable with their crying after 3-5 minutes, so I would tell them to stop. Now, I let my toddler cry as much as he needs to. I just hold him. I've learned the importance of containing him with a calm presence.

I would have validated their feelings more. When they were upset or frustrated, I would tell them to stop being angry or upset. Now, I know it's important to validate their feelings and let them feel what they're feeling. I recently learned that even though we validate their feelings, we still maintain our expectations of behavior. So I can say, "I can see why you would be so frustrated right now. I still need you clean up your toys."

I would have stopped what I was doing and make sure to give them eye contact whenever they walked in the room. I learned how important the "gaze" and giving them my full attention when they are talking to me.

I hugged my older kids a lot, but I still would have touched them a lot more. I would have let them sit on my lap more and just held them longer.

I would have empathized with their pain when they were sad or crying, instead of trying to get them to stop their tantrums. I learned if I maintain calmness, the tantrums usually stop on their own, without me trying to fix the situation.

I would have allowed them to make more mistakes without getting upset. One of my kids is a perfectionist and I think it's because I gave a reaction every time she did something wrong. I now praise their efforts instead of reacting to the results of their efforts.

I would have shown them my anger and reassured them that I love them even if I get upset. I just hid my anger, so when they see it, which is rare, they are terrified.

One thing I have done with all my kids is always to let them know when I'm leaving, when I'll be back, and to remind them how much I love them. I think this has helped prevent separation anxiety and given them a security that I'll always be back when I leave.

I'm sure there's a lot more I could be doing, but these are the things that come to mind.