So this new thread has already brought up some feelings for me and I thought I’d start a topic..

Its making me think how much I loved being an addict and how much I want to be again.. its so good in so many ways… its such a good excuse to not live life… it’s a good excuse to be a failure. I didn’t graduate high school on time because i was an addict… not because I just didn’t work hard enough and I was lazy. And it was a way to fit in… I was a part of a group and my problems could be labeled… instead of just being screwed up for some reason, i was “an addict”.

I know that there is about a 0% chance of this happening, but if I didn’t “have so much of myself” as my T would say, I could see myself becoming an addict again just so I could “fit in” on this forum… do you know what I mean? Because I think a huge part of being an addict was the attention and feeling like I fit in. I could see myself thinking that if I started abusing alcohol or drugs or whatever again I could come here and get attention for it… That’s not going to happen… its just a thought….

I feel like I should end this by saying that this thread isn’t actually making me think about actually doing something (drugs, alcohol), it’s just bring up feelings.
Original Post
Actually your still living life, just not getting the gifts from it. I've been sober 8yrs and it took a few of those yrs to begin to appricate a new way of "doing" life, had to add some therapy into this also, believe just stopping drinking isn't enought in itself.

Belief me there will come a day where the defense of being failure doesn't boost the ego and you become able to admit you did want more from life, you have to begin to believe in you and thats a strange concept for a lot of us!
Thank you for your thoughts friends!
BG, Yeah, hangovers and coming down from being high i do not miss one bit...

Freud, Congrats on 8 years, I've been sober for 2. And yes, I did want more from life and I definitely believe in myself!

DF, I can see the similarities between ED and drugs/alcohol. Those (along with many other things) are all unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I've never had a drug addiction but was married to someone who was an addict. Recently I was complaining about how he used drugs to numb his emotions. My T2 said, "Does that sound familiar?" and then I realized she was referring to my eating disorder. Hit me like a ton of bricks when she held that mirror up.

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