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(((Draggers))) (((Starlight)))

Starlight; no you're not being stupid! Smiler I tried to find it again and couldn't!! Luckily, last night I pasted it into a word doc, so I've put it under here for you.

quote:
Take the Emotional Neglect Questionnaire

Circle the questions to which your answer is YES.

Do You:

1.Sometimes feel like you don’t belong when with your family or friends
2.Pride yourself on not relying upon others
3.Have difficulty asking for help
4.Have friends or family who complain that you are aloof or distant
5.Feel you have not met your potential in life
6.Often just want to be left alone
7.Secretly feel that you may be a fraud
8.Tend to feel uncomfortable in social situations
9. Often feel disappointed with, or angry at, yourself
10. Judge yourself more harshly than you judge others
11. Compare yourself to others and often find yourself sadly lacking
12. Find it easier to love animals than people
13. Often feel irritable or unhappy for no apparent reason
14. Have trouble knowing what you’re feeling
15. Have trouble identifying your strengths and weaknesses
16.Sometimes feel like you’re on the outside looking in
17. Believe you’re one of those people who could easily live as a hermit
18. Have trouble calming yourself
19. Feel there’s something holding you back from being present in the moment
20. At times feel empty inside
21. Secretly feel there’s something wrong with you
22. Struggle with self-discipline

Look back over your circled (YES) answers. These answers give you a window into the areas in which you may have experienced Emotional Neglect as a child. If you’ve circled 6 or more, this indicates that your Childhood Emotional Neglect was extensive.
Thanks Avoidant!
I scored 20 too. But not surprised it is something we have discussed in therapy. I thankfully was never mistreated or abused or anything like that, but my mother was emotionally like a block of ice.
I will be buying the book.
I can also recommend another book "The Emotionally Absent Mother" by Jasmin Lee Cori.
That's spooky Draggers Eeker I answered 'no' to the same two questions as you did!! Either it's coincidence or we're one and the same person Big Grin or one of us cheated and copied the others homework

Thanks Starlight.
quote:
I thankfully was never mistreated or abused or anything like that, but my mother was emotionally like a block of ice.


Ditto that; totally. Mine still is and it'll likely take a good dose of global warming to thaw her out Smiler I checked out the other book you mentioned and it was interesting that the author describes three choices for healing, 1. find a surrogate mother, 2. get professional therapy, 3. learn to mother yourself.

I've certainly tried option 1, as couple of calamitous relationships with women old enough to be my mother will testify! And, if I'm honest, I tried that option with T1 as well; until she could no longer handle the attachment issues and terminated my sessions Frowner So now I'm trying option 2 with T2 which seems to be working well. Option 3? Hmmm, not very good on that score so still work in progress there.
's ((((((everyone)))))) and thank's for your responses too. I do find it sad that so many of you, like me, got a high number of yes's in the quiz; and I only hope the book is as good as it sounds. If it helps a few of us in some small way then it was well worth posting about. Smiler

Chezza; like you, I hadn't heard of the term 'emotional neglect' before either. I sort of stumbled across it in a manic fit of 'googling' the other day! Smiler T and I are doing EMDR/sensorimotor type work and last month she kept setting me homework to try to remember specific events from childhood that we could work through in sessions, and as hard as I tried I couldn't come up with many/any. Only after reading about CEN being about something that didn't happen, rather than what did happen, could I understand why I couldn't remember anything Roll Eyes

For me at least, after reading up on this stuff, I'm fairly confident I've finally pinned down the root cause of a lifetimes struggle, and that has to be progress in itself!

AV
((((Scarzee)))) ((((Morgs)))) good to see you both around Smiler

Scarzee; out of interest, how long did it take for you to understand that it was emotional neglect? I only ask as it seems to have taken me a long time to uncover the cause. Old T and I spent 18 months working on what now appear to be the symptoms without ever uncovering the real issue Frowner

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