Skip to main content

The PsychCafe
Share, connect, and learn.
I read this book this weekend and found it very insightful, surprisingly.

There were several passages that rang solid in my ears, but here are my two favorite:

"Most of the craziness in the world - violence, addictions, and frenetic activity - comes from running from pain. Many of the world's biggest buillies and worst mass murderers have acted to avoid confronting their own painful feelings. The only thing worse than feeling pain is not feeling pain. Healthy people face their pain. When they are sad, they cry. When they are angry, they acknowledge they are angry. They don't pretend to have only PG-rated feelings. They don't judge their feelings. Rather, they simply observe and describe them." page 54

"Writers and therapists live twice - first when they experience events and a second time when they use them in their work. Writers and therapists face worthy opponents. Writers call it the inner critic or writer's block. For therapists it is resistance. We can only be successful when we learn to confront and conquer that opponent." page 137

It was a nice, short, powerful read. I feel it gave some good insight to what therapists go through with their clients - stories they share, lines they use, the hope they dish out day after day. More specificially, though, I liked how I felt as if I now have a better understanding of what it is that keeps therapists in their jobs. I could never sit there hour after hour, listening to people's tales of woe and misery, doling out hope, being the objective listening ear. Not my cup of tea at all. But Mary Pipher's letters to Laura, her favorite graduate student, shed a little light on why the good therapists do what they do, and how it is that they sustain themselves during their career.
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

quote:
"Most of the craziness in the world - violence, addictions, and frenetic activity - comes from running from pain. Many of the world's biggest buillies and worst mass murderers have acted to avoid confronting their own painful feelings. The only thing worse than feeling pain is not feeling pain. Healthy people face their pain. When they are sad, they cry. When they are angry, they acknowledge they are angry. They don't pretend to have only PG-rated feelings. They don't judge their feelings. Rather, they simply observe and describe them." page 54


This part really resonated with me R2G. I think it is also a good explanation of why my oldT has been running from me. He cannot handle his own pain and his own feelings about me and our relationship and what he did to me. So he is running in fear.

I also wanted to say that my current T knows what is written above. When I cry too much and tell him I'm sorry for being so crazy. He insists that I'm not crazy I'm just sad and with good reason. And that tears tell us something and they also heal us. He is teaching me to first identify what the feelings are and what they mean and then allowing me to sit with them (with him for now as support) and accept them for what they are. For now the only things I've been able to feel are fear and sadness (pain). I have been having a really difficult time feeling the positive emotions since my abandonment. I do at times get a small glimpse of joy when I have a good connecting session but that is it. Hopefully in time this will translate to my real life too.

It sounds like a really interesting book. I'll check it out on Amazon.

Thanks for posting,
TN

Add Reply

Post
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×
×