Yes, it makes sense to me.

I think when we don't know what's going on inside of us, it's because we haven't been taught that it's important to pay attention to. Sometimes it's even been dangerous for us to know what we feel. We can distance ourselves from our own experience as a defense.

A therapist, on the other hand, while he/she can't totally know what is going on inside of you, can make a pretty good guess based on context, history, body language, etc.

Hi TAS. I completely understand this feeling of being so distant from your own experiences. For me, that distance is a defense mechanism. I am afraid to feel, afraid to give myself that attention, and afraid to let down my mask. For those reasons, I dissociate from my emotions, channel it into an eating disorder and anxiety in my situation.

Our T's, though, don't have this personal connection to our experiences. It is an objective experience to them and, as much as they can empathize with and understand our experiences, they are, by profession, distanced from our emotions. Sometimes, my T is just able to identify but not even understand my emotions. She is not afraid of what identifying that emotion will do because it is external to her, and she knows the benefit of identifying that emotion for me.

Basically, sometimes it seems as if we have our own filters/voices in our heads filled with every belief that we hold. If these beliefs negate our own experiences or tell us we shouldn't/don't deserve to experience an emotion, then that voice will innately create a barrier to identifying the emotion - at least in my experience. It is painful to feel so detached, but I have found that conscious awareness about this pattern can allow you to reconnect to your emotions. Plus, that is the gift of a T; the T is there to help guide you back to yourself until you feel complete to do so on your own.

Thank you BLT! You are exactly right about it being dangerous for us to know what we feel. I never thought about distancing ourselves from our experience as a defense. I definitely see how it can be, though.

FMW: "Our T's, though, don't have this personal connection to our experiences. It is an objective experience to them and, as much as they can empathize with and understand our experiences, they are, by profession, distanced from our emotions." I know this is for our benefit but it is so hard knowing their objectivity is due to distance and not being emotionally involved in a relationship with the client.

"Plus, that is the gift of a T; the T is there to help guide you back to yourself until you feel complete to do so on your own." Thank you for pointing this out. I never thought of it as a gift. I am definitely trying to make my way back to myself and am glad to have found a Therapist who is able to do this.

Thank you for each of your replies. Sometimes therapy is so puzzling and when you are able to come here and bounce things off of others, it gives it perspective and the understanding from another's perspective.

Thank you!
T.

The confusion isn't unique to us, the clients - that's why most Ts have supervision

We all need someone to talk to about what's going on in our heads, with someone subjective who can help us understand