Hi Everyone. Apart from an introduction post I made a sub-forum here I thought I'd join the party and share a little bit about myself with you great group of people. I'm not expecting anyone to wave their magic cyber wand and cure me, but I hope by sharing this information it may help us to better relate with each other. Ok, here it goes. I've been wrestling with chronic depression for 25yrs, and with the help of medication I'm able to cope for the most part. Two years ago I felt things were getting worse so I finally went in to see a T, which I still do on a weekly basis. I now realize I should have done this long ago!

She is treating me for Complex PTSD and has been a great help, although its a painfully slow process. I grew up in an abusive home. It wasn't violent but my father was verbally and emotionally abuse to us all. Thankfully my mother was always there for me and did the best should could under the conditions. Unfortunately even with the weekly therapy and depression meds I also use alcohol as an escape in the evenings. Having said that I never have more than four beers a night -I don't think I could have more if I wanted to as I have to get up at 4:50 in the morning to get ready for work! I know this isn't an ideal solution but right now I feel its the only way I can cope. My T knows this and says it's "understandable". I hope too reach a point where I won't feel the need to drink to escape.

My wife is supportive but distant. She has asked me a couple of times how much longer I will need to go to therapy. I really only feel that I've made significant progress in the last six months or so. I know that this puts an additional financial burden on us but I want so much to feel better, for both of us.

My T is going on vacation soon and I'm already starting to feel the separation anxiety as I see many of you have had to contend with. She told me that she won't be gone away for more than a week or two at time. I know she is entitled to her down time but I fear I will be in for a rough ride.

Well I'll leave things at that for now. I look forward to getting to know you all a bit better, and have the opportunity to share some experiences, suggestions, and stories with you. Have a great evening!

LongRoad