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Dude,
Families are tricky things. One of my best relationships is one of my older sisters and one of my worst relationships is my other older sister. I think siblings are tough to deal with because they take you right back to being small and any unresolved issues left over (of which most of us has many). I also think they know exactly what buttons to push because they know you so well. And last but not least, no matter how much you wish otherwise, family matters, so the increased importance translates into increased reactivity. Difficult stuff.
Sorry I suddenly stopped posting, had a nasty deadline at work, then went on vacation for a few weeks.

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