Wow...that is a powerful read, Jones. I am in awe of the person who wrote it, obviously a very brave and honest soul. I wonder how someone can get to the point there, where facing one's not so pleasant truths becomes possible, without the self-condemnation and horrific guilt that can bring one further down the wrong path? I think it must require an extremely skilled and competent therapist to allow her to get to this point. wow. Well, they say that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I'm curious I do wonder what is meant by dissociation in this article, when it mentions a therpist relying on dissociation to protect themselves. I always thought that dissociation was something obvious. Like if a person dissociated, they wouldn't even remember what happened. That is would be so obvious to anyone talking to them that was happening. Am I wrong? I guess I do not really know what dissociation is, and I'm curious about it because I wonder if I am doing it at times. I like the idea of taking control, letting go of the victim stuff...so much of it seems like some kind of magic interior leap, to me, and yet I know I MUST somehow be capable of such a leap...and I must find that path somehow. Thanks very much for a great, thought-provoking, and encouraging (scary) read.

BB

Hi Beebs,

Yep, I was really impressed by it too - for me it's a really valuable example.

My understanding of dissociation is that there's a continuum of experiences, from 'vaguing out' in the way that we do when we're driving a car, reading a book etc, to experiences where we totally disconnect and are unable to remember or identify with whatever we did while disconnected. Some dissociation is a normal part of life - that's how we can do one thing while thinking of another. But dissociating as a habitual coping mechanism is often an adaptation to traumatic situations.

But one might not notice someone else lightly dissociating - like those conversations we have when we realise we've been thinking of something else, and don't know what's been said - but we just keep smiling and nodding and letting the other person carry on.

I reckon you're capable of taking that leap, Beebee. Might take a few little run-up jumps first, though, eh?

xx

Hi Jones & BB,

I've read that article before and agree that it is pretty amazing. The hardest thing for me in therapy is really admitting to my T when I've done something wrong against her. Not that I do things to intentionally hurt her, because I don't know that they hurt her per se, but they are definitely boundary crossings, and it's so hard to admit that I have intentionally done those things. I'm up against this right now (again ) and reading this gave me a little bit more courage to do what I know I have to do. Thanks for posting this Jones. It is scary to admit that we aren't always 'nice' and that we do sometimes intentionally hurt others. But we are human and until we face the reality of ourselves and our errors and work to overcome them honestly, we can't really grow.

MTF