Hey number9. Thats a lovely question
What happened to me was a succession of things. I'll make it as short as I can. About 4 years ago I lived in London. Had a full-time, call centre job. Two things happened that sparked a lot of chaos. Only now I'm relaxing a bit more because I have a good base.
I met someone whom I fell for and whom I could not be with. At the same time I got pretty much obsessed with conspiracy theories to match my underlying negative and child-lost view of the world.
After these two things came together, I started hating my job, felt I'd never meet someone, fears were all sparked of being a failure. I started up numerous courses and jobs below my skill level because depression ensued.
What nipped it in the bud was that I'd started yet another job below my skill level (Depression made me demotivated, lost, and fearful) and I quit. This must have been the 5th job in a year I quit. I was distraught. I was trying so hard to start up, only to be knocked back, it felt. I went to my Doctors. They prescribed AD and gave me the name of the clinic I go to now.
Because my emotions were so up and down, when I was on an 'up' moment, I said to myself 'No, I don't need therapy' and on a 'down' moment, I said 'Yes I do need therapy'. I handed in my first assessment application to the clinic but didn't follow it through. The second time, I did thankfully and am in therapy for my 7th month running.
So in short, what sparked me off was definitely financial hardship but also, a congregation of everything I was trying to work out in myself about myself and couldn't. Therapy has made me see more clear of myself than ever before.
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I'm also curious as to whether we have more or less resilience in adulthood, or if it matters, if it is a highly individual thing, etc...
This is a good question. I'm trying to depict a 'birds eye view' of myself here. Hmmm...I'm uncertain as to how much resilience I have. I think I have a lot of resilience but also I keep myself in solitude a lot of the time. I'm starting (I think) to try and get out there but I'm unsure. I've definitely broken down some boundaries...My emotional sensitivity though is another thing. Being emotionally sensitive is fine but it's how I deal with them in that moment and I don't deal with them well at all. I go into 'escapist' mode. In that sense, I've not got worse or better, I've simply recognized what I'm like with despairing emotions and I'm not good with them at all. I will run and run as far as I can. I will screw things up majorly.
I have determination though and I think if one has will and determination, things can only get better, however much time it takes.