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Hi Everyone,

Over the last couple of weeks, with the help of my T I've made some big steps forward on my road to recovery. I've discovered a lot about CPTSD and ACOA, which I am a victim of. My biggest realization to date is that many of my perceptions of the world around me are simply inaccurate. I've learned through CBT that powerful emotional experiences that I had as a child growing up has laid down certain neural pathways in my brain. And that even now, forty plus years down the road, if I find myself in a "similar enough" situation to one that caused a fight or flight response as a child I will react the same way today.

Through the work of my T I'm slowly learning how to "rewire" my brain, to lay down new, healthy, neural pathways. Unfortunately it isn't enough to simply be aware of the fact, cognitively, that I've developed these misconceptions, and as such, am behaving in an unnecessary or inappropriate way. It requires a certain "being in the moment" approach.

I don't think this newly acquired knowledge is going to move me any faster through my therapy. I know I still have a long way to go. But it is at least a little bit comforting to have a better understanding of just what I'm dealing with. I think this new realization is almost surreal to me. It's the most profound experience I've ever had. Thank you for reading this, and I hope it gives others a pause for reflection.

LongRoad
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LR,
I remember when I first learned about attachment theory and the plasticity of the human brain. It gave me hope in a way I hadn't known before. You move from a model of pathology and having something wrong with you, to an understanding that you are fundamentally sound, just your development has gone astray. And while it cannot be completely restored to what it would have been if you had gotten what you needed as a child, it is enough for you to heal and live a much fuller life. I am glad that you are experiencing that hope. It sounds like you have a great T.

Don't know if you've read it, but based on this post I think you would really enjoy the book A General Theory of Love. It provides a great explanation of attachment theory and the brain and how that informs a healing therapy. I actually recommended the book to my T (I recommend this book to everyone! Big Grin). He read it and we used it alot in our work together for some time.

AG
Hi MsC,

Thanks for your reply. It really is interesting and fortunate to learn that well into our adult years we still have the ability to lay down new neural pathways and affect changes to our behavior. I'm now facing the most difficult part of my therapy. Realizing how my alcoholic father really messed me up during my childhood. To answer your question my T doesn't specialize in PTSD/trauma per-say, but she does specialize in aspects directly connected with it (anxiety, depression, etc...). She is not perfect but she is very good at what she does. It does feel good to see my progress, although it is a painful and slow.

LongRoad

PS: Yes, there is hope for YOU yet... Smiler

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